Leave it Behind
by Jayne Dough
Summary: Marissa has accepted her feelings for Alex. Neither know how the relationship will turn out. AM. First Fic for a long time. (set before "Lonely Hearts...) RR
1. Blanket

The golden California sun seeped down into Alex's house. Marissa was gently stirring awake on the couch, and Alex was sat by the window with a mug of coffee. She enjoyed staring at the world from where she was safe, it calmed her down, and lately, she seemed to need calming a lot.

Marissa was watching intently at Alex thinking. It was clear she was thinking by her wrinkled brow. She sipped the hot coffee, then relaxed a little, Marissa still watched her every move.

"I know you're watching me" she let out a sly grin but didn't turn to meet Marissa's line of vision.

"Sorry" said Marissa in a rather sleepy and shy way. Just before burying her head up to the eyes in soft blanket.

Alex walked over and tousled Marissa's hair, she smiled and sunk completely under the blankets. She heard Alex set her cup down in the kitchen and re enter the room. She heard nothing else.

There was a sudden disruption of the blankets, Marissa moved around trying to free her head from the confines of her soft red prison, she soon figured out Alex was holding the blanket down on her head, and let out a small smile. Alex tunnelled under the blanket and faced Marissa, there was just enough light so they could make out each other's features.

"What are you doing?" questioned Marissa.

"What are you doing, a simple "thanks Alex, for letting me stay and abuse your house""

"Thanks…but, what abuse?" she said with a wry smile.

"That" indicated Alex to a drool patch on the arm of the couch. Marissa looked away from her, in an embarrassed way. Alex got her index finger and traced it across Marissa's cheek. Gentle, but with enough force to make her turn and face her. There was a prominent "nose graze".

"You never have to be embarrassed around me". Marissa inhaled with a small gasp and trembled a tiny bit. Their faces were so close. Alex paused and withdrew her head out of the blanket, and miles away from Marissa.

A "moment" had definitely exchanged, and Marissa was thankful.

Using her judgement less than wisely, she took Alex's reluctant behaviour as a sign to leave. Standing up and smoothing out the wrinkles from her clothes, she picked her purse of the table and started for the door.

"I'll see you later" she said, turning back to face Alex who was stood leaning on the back of the couch, staring at her feet from a curtain of blonde hair. Who quickly snapped her head up.

"Wait!" exclaimed Alex. Marissa was still facing the door, and smiled. She turned again, and walked to the couch. She stood on the other side of it, the couch becoming a makeshift barrier between the two. They stared at each other intently. Both not saying anything. Conversation sometimes seems irrelevant between them. Marissa landed on the couch and reached for the blanket that made her feel so safe.

Alex landed next to her, and grabbed her share of the blanket too.

"What do you want to do today then?" chirped Marissa, ignoring the "almost-exit" that just took place.

"Have you given up on school completely?" she smiled. Alex wriggled her hand around under the blanket to meet Marissa's, she toyed with it first dragging a finger along it then smiling. Marissa accepted and gently squeezed her hand in return.

"Not completely" she said "it's just an unnecessary distraction lately, I'd much rather be doing something else" she said with a glint in her eyes.

"How about we go to the beach? It'll be pretty deserted at this time, what with everyone being in school and all"

"It seems a little foggy…but ok." She paused and looked down at herself. "Hate to ask again, but can I borrow another shirt?" Alex had already cut her off. With a simple "yes". And a small laugh. It was routine that Marissa would steal a new shirt every time she stayed over.

"There's a black one in the third drawer"

"Can't I borrow your blue one?"

"No"

"Why?" she said looking mock outraged.

"I'm wearing it today, and besides you look so much hotter in dark colors"

at first Marissa didn't know how to take the statement. But she blushed accordingly and continued.

"It's ok, you look so Good in blue" trying to counter balance the compliment, in a way that only seemed logical within the minds of the two. "Well I'll just go shower then, is that ok?"

"Sure. I need to clean up anyway" Marissa stood up and without further words went straight to the bathroom. Alex picked herself up, folded the blanket and hung it on the back of the couch, then headed for the kitchen sink. She turned on the faucet and watched the water fall down in a violent stream of icy cold and noise.

Alex began to think about Marissa. Just feet away in the next room, probably naked by now. Yet these weren't feelings of lust, she found other things much more sensical. Although she wouldn't object to reaching that point with her, there was so much more to her than just a pretty face. She began to ponder what exactly it was about Marissa she liked so much; there hadn't even been a proper kiss. Or any kind of confirmation, Alex's mind panicked slightly that things were moving so slowly, but just like a nice care ride, you take the scenic route so you can enjoy it for longer. Alex's mind always had a away of rationalising any doubts within a few seconds of the original panic; this was probably why she appeared so composed.

"Alex!" yelled Marissa. "What the hell?" She gestured to the over flowing sink and smashed coffee cup. Cold water had spread all over the kitchen floor, soaking Alex's feet through her socks. She still appeared distant, and looked around confused. Marissa ran over in her towel and turned the faucet off, she appeared unperturbed by the icy cold water lapping at her toes. She took Alex's still hand, and turned to face her.

"What was that about?"

"I don't know" she said after a pause, she was looking more aware now, but still looking away from Marissa.

"Are you ok?" she said looking a little more concerned than needed. Alex merely nodded. Marissa let out a small "hmm" and reached out to hug her. She accepted reluctantly, and stared still. She was shocked she let her feelings for someone distract her. Normally that would never happen so she was taken aback to say the least. Occasionally she did have moments like that; where her thoughts would just arrest her within her own mind, and it would take a lot to shake her out, but never over anybody else before.

She quickly came to the fact Marissa was resting with her head on her chest. She inhaled deeply and was relatively back to normal, when she realised she was cradling a half naked Marissa she had to stop herself.

"I should clean this up"

"Ok…I'll just go dry off"

Alex fell slowly to her knees to attempt to clean up the mess. Instead she just fell back into thought, the water slowly soaking her as she just collapsed slowly to the ground.

She had always had a habit of wanting what she couldn't have and she knew chances with Marissa seemed slim. She started to doubt everything, whether she could even trust her, whether she should tell her how she felt. Everything suddenly seemed to be posing a problem, choking back a small bout of tears; she laid and imagines a time when she might be happy.

Marissa came in again; she stood and looked down at a momentarily emotional Alex. She kneeled down in the water next to her, which was now rapidly drying. And held her hand in hers. She knew this was a time when questions shouldn't be asked, and words shouldn't be said. She took Alex into her chest in a tight hug, and kissed her on the forehead.

"I'm sorry Marissa," she said

"Why?"

"I don't know" she giggled and returned the kiss on her cheek.

"I think you're special"


	2. Tree

"You're special too…" she looked at her in response, soaked in her jeans and tshirt, she looked amazing, she smiled at her understated beauty.

"Anyway let's beach it," said Marissa taking control of the situation once more.

"I'll go get changed" she came back and took Marissa's hand leading her swiftly out the door.

They started their slow amble to the beach.

"I hate it when Newport's like this" frowned Marissa, contorting her face into a child like expression of misery.

"I don't know…I like gloomy weather some times"

"Why?"

"Gives you space to think. Puts a new perspective on things" she nodded at her own statement. Marissa merely smiled. "Marissa?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I take you somewhere?"

"Umm yeah, where is it?"

"I'll let you know when we get there" she stuck out her tongue in a playful way and turned back to face the concrete.

"What did you tell Jodie when you made her leave?"

"What?"

"Sorry. I didn't mean anything by it, just ignore me if you want" she smiled weakly and Alex faced her, wondering whether to believe her, or see if it had been playing on her mind. Her face softened after a few seconds.

"I told her, she should leave because I didn't love her, I didn't want to be with her, and that I wanted something new" she said slowly but with little breath.

"Something new?"

"Yeah"

"Seth wasn't something new?"

"Not to me. I don't like it when I can predict exactly what's happening, but I do like to be in control. When I can find that situation I guess I'll be happy"

"I've always wanted just a mix of everything…never slow, never fast, just never anything for too long"

"I need a Good reason to stay anywhere long enough, my jobs ok, but I like the people in Newport"

"I hate Newport," she said stubbornly

"Why?"

"The people, my history here, I just wish I could go somewhere else…even for a little while"

"It's nice to have roots though" she said, she sounded slightly quiet, almost envious of Marissa's stressful family situation. Marissa said nothing after this, just kept quiet. The rest of the walk was just spent in quiet observation between them, sometimes separate, sometimes they would look at the same thing, or each other. Slyly of course, without the other knowing.

They were soon at the beach. Both just stood for a minute breathing in the sea air and watching the strange eerie fog drift by. The visibility wasn't bad, neither was it good, they could see far enough in front of themselves to see the waves breaking from the shore. They cared not to strain their eyes to look further, besides, after the wake; it was always just calm blue water.

"Amazing isn't it" whispered Alex.

"Huh?" stirred Marissa waking from some deep thought

"The way the entire thing could swallow you whole. There's a few steps between land and sea, between life and death. It could eat us alive"

"Like a monster?" Marissa questioned, again with a cheerful child like quality to her. She developed this more being around Alex. She felt real.

"Like a monster" Alex said in the affirmative, not quite in the same tone, but she smiled and nodded all the same. "Come with me" she whispered, and took Marissa's hand. She headed in a direction down the beach that lead to nowhere, so Marissa thought at least.

Eventually, after lots of fog and sand, there was a small shape visible.

"There it is" smiled Alex. "You promise not to laugh?"

"Why would I laugh?"

"It might seem stupid to you."

"I doubt it" she smiled. "So? What is it?"

"It's my tree" sure enough as the fog cleared an old dead, driftwood tree was lying there, neglected in the sand. Marissa looked puzzled, a smile didn't break out, and she waited for more information.

"I used to spend most of my time here until I met you…lame I know. It's just somewhere no one would think to mean so much to anyone. Reflecting place.

Peaceful place"

"Why did you show me?"

"If I ever went missing. This is where I'd be" Marissa looked puzzled again. "If I ever went missing. You're the only person I'd want to find me right now. You're the only person who knows"

"Thanks Alex, this means a lot" she smiled. Her words didn't feel enough somehow. Another time where all the dictionaries in the world couldn't fill the silence between them.

"Sit down" Alex commanded gently, she sat first, Marissa following next to her, resting her head peacefully on her shoulder.

"Tell me what you're thinking," commanded Alex yet again, slightly more forceful this time. It didn't seem threatening, but Marissa instantly understood she needed to answer the question.

"That I wished I had a place like this to escape to"

"You can share my place whenever you like, it's getting tiresome being lonely and grumpy" they smiled, a small silence passed again.

"So what are you thinking about?"

"You" she answered quickly, it was as though she didn't intend to be that open, but once it was out, she could do nothing, and words cannot be unsaid. She blamed her subconscious state on the verbal outburst.

"What about me?" Marissa questioned, there was a flirty tone to her voice, she was fully taking advantage of Alex's slip of her mind.

"I think a lot of things about you, we're close"

"I agree" she smiled. "Anything specific though?" She reared her head from the space she had been on Alex's shoulder, and faced her directly. Marissa raised an eyebrow to provoke a response.

"I'm thinking about what you said about leaving, I think maybe I should leave. Instead of you"

"Why should you leave?" Marissa urged, panic stricken.

"I think if I see myself complicating a lot of things, messing things up"

"You can't leave on a hunch something might happen?"

"Why not?"

"Because that's so selfish! I need a friend like you." Marissa insisted. More desperation was straining in her voice by now.

"Then that makes you selfish" she said matter-of-factly.

"If you leave. I'll follow you there"

"Don't say things you don't mean Marissa. It's a sin to lie to me on my own tree" she sounded slightly threatening, even with the light heartedness of the claim.

"But I would"

"Really?" she looked down, and nodded, firmly biting her bottom lip.

"What if I couldn't take you with me?"

"Why couldn't you?"

"Stop retaliating with questions"

"Answer me" she said, slightly annoyed.

"Ok. I'm riding a motorbike and there's only one seat. My luggage filled the entire car, and there's no space for you. What reason does it matter? Just answer me!"

"I find it incredibly hard to believe you asked me that question over a simple logistics issue"

"Well it's true"

"You can't lie on this tree" Alex stood up suddenly and took two paces forward. Without turning to look at her, she stated;

"It's true"

"Just tell me damn it!" Marissa stood up, her voice almost at a yell. She paced forward to Alex and grabbed her by the arm.

"I can't ruin this Marissa! I can't let my stupid feelings take over everything I do! I can't let one of my closest friends get hurt because I've been so selfish to act on an impulse. It would be less painful for you if I left" there was a silence. Alex's breathing was heavy and angered; she looked stressed, halfway between tearful and frustrated.

"Hurt me" Marissa spoke softly.

"What?" questioned Alex with definite impatience.

"Hurt me. If that's what you're scared of, do it. I want you to. I'll risk it! You have my fucking permission Alex! Just fucking hurt me!" she screamed the last part so close to Alex's face, her breath made her hair move. She stayed in that position. Both breathing in an angry harmony. Alex slowly took her shaking hands and placed them on Marissa's hips. Marissa daren't look, but nor did she dare look away. Fixing her gaze on Alex as she drew herself forward. They were now so close. They both closed their eyes simultaneously and moved forward. There was a tiny kiss first; practically testing the water, then it progressed. They both felt so confused and yet calm, like a duck paddling strenuously under the water, but nothing on the surface.

Kissing one another was an odd situation for both, but pleasing all the same.

Marissa was amazed kissing anyone could feel like that, Alex, just amazed Marissa had let her. They broke apart softly. Their faces still touching but their eyes were now open.

"So?" asked Alex whispered, albeit bluntly.

"it didn't hurt at all" smiled Marissa.


	3. Dive

They both looked unusually happy.

Sat on an empty beach in cold grey fog, which was slowly enveloping them both. They had now rested on the tree, next to each other.

"Do you like this place?" questioned Alex. She was sitting on the floor with her back against the tree at an angle. Marissa layed across her, her head in her lap. Alex was looking up at the overcast sky, Marissa smiling with her eyes closed.

"Yeah." Smiled Marissa. Alex laughed.

"That was so pointless"

"Hmm" She moaned through a smile.

"Anyway. Wake up. Time to go back to my house"

"why"

"it's getting colder…cold doesn't sit well with me, makes me grouchy. Come on" she helped Marissa up.

They walked back again in silence, a lot less awkward than before. Marissa had her arm around Alex.

"I'm cold" Alex stated. Stopping just before her house. "and I hate sand" she said shaking it out of her shoes, letting herself in. Marissa followed.

"So.." Marissa swung her arms into a loose clap idley.

"you can put the tv on. I'm going to wash my feet" she staggered over to the bathroom in such a way that minimal sand would get on the carpet. Marissa laughed and turned on the tv.

When Alex returned, Marissa was sleeping. She pondered whether or not to wake her. Decided she could make the decision better with some food, and a cup of coffee.

"what's going on with us?" questioned Marissa's voice from behind the couch, Alex couldn't see, but looked curious all the same, despite the fact there was no visible audience.

"up to you?" she said, in a light hearted way. Dusk was setting in outside, so Alex turned on a light.

"up to me?…why?"

"I don't want to push you into anything"

"well, what do you want?"

"does your "no lying" policy extend off of the tree?"

"it certainly does!" she exclaimed in fake shock.

"in that case" she paused and walked over to the couch and sat next to her. "I want you. And I wan't you to be happy about it."

"and I am" she smiled. "so" she paused, looking at Alex. "we dating now?" Alex smiled and nodded.

"yeah, but you can so come up with an idea for the first date"

"Ideas?"

"come on…give me some credit! Do I look like the kind of girl who likes to be taken for dinner and a movie?"

"what if I mess up?"

"I trust you. I know you won't" she leaned in and kissed her again. They both smiled.

Marissa fell asleep with her head on Alex's knee. She took in the gravity of the situation. This girl could break her and she knew it. Alex could be no more than phase, but she could also be a whole lot more. She didn't understand Marissa, yet she trusted her. It seemed a little confusing. Alex didn't let it rouble her yet, but decided not to let her guard down until after the first date. She wanted to see what Marissa would pull. It made her excited, and nautious. She smiled to herself. And allowed herself to go to sleep.

Alex awoke to the sound of running water, Marissa was showering. The thought filled her head again. She let out a truly Evil grin and laughed to herself. The water shut off, and Marissa walked in the room wearing a robe.

"hey" Marissa smiled, walking over to kiss her, then stand up again.

"morning to you too" Alex laughed. She scratched her head and yawned, tried to take in her general surroundings.

"I'm going to take a shower" I think. She moaned and shuffled towards the bathroom.

"wait!" Marissa called after her. "can I ask you something?"

"ok, but if its serious, it can wait, I'm not a morning person"

"I was just going to ask if I could borrow your key?"

"why?"

"I have to go get things sorted out. And I'll be back later, I don't fancy waiting around on your doorstep much"

"what kind of stuff?"

"nice stuff"

"hmm you are too vague for your own Good" she gave Marissa a suspicious look. "why can't you just go home?".

"I could…but I really don't want to"

"promise you won't get tired of me…spending all this time with me and all?"

"promise." She smiled, kissed her cheek and took the keys that were dangling from the hook. Alex smiled from the bathrom doorway and watched her leave.

Marissa drove straight to the cohens. She let herself in and walked upstairs straight to seth's room.

"hey seth…summer here?"

"now why would she be? And have you never heard of knocking? I could have been busy"

"when are you ever busy?" he raised his eyebrows to her. "eeew"

"it's the risk of being an intruder; unwanted information"

"summer here or not?"

"she is actually. We're working on the comic. She'll be in the kitchen"

"thanks" Marissa exited the room and walked toward the kitchen. She met summer coming out.

"Hey sum"

"hey coop" she smiled.

"havent seen you for a while. You busy tonight? I could use a break from cohen and his endless "turn this way" "turn that way" "stick out your chest"."

"ok. Well I'll let you know, Mom's home today" summer nodded in agreement. "I gotta dash" Marissa said looking suspicious.

"what did you want?"

"huh?" said Marissa looking confused.

"You were looking for me, yeah?"

"oh…you know that guy…the one who knew all the bands?"

"mmhmm"

"can I have his number ?"

"did you think he was hot? Because I thought he wasn't that impressive, but he got me in all those cool shows, but seriously though, if you're considering my cast-off's , I'll set you up"

"nah it's ok…I'm cool. Number though please?"

"oh..ok. sure"

Marissa quickly left and headed home. She avoided confrontation at home, and found an old backpack of Ryan's. She packed a lot of stuff in there. and started for the door. She heard a key turn in the other side. Not wanting to be seen Marissa ran back in her room.

"Marissa?" it was julie. Marissa panicked and ran to the window. She was trapped. Rather than risk seeing her mother, lowered herself down and dropped into a bush. She smiled to herself at the surreal situation and headed for her car. She drove straight back to Alex's apartment.

"hey I have great news" grinned Alex.

"which is?"

"I have the night off work so you're free to do what you want with me until Monday"

"does that include spending the night?" she smiled, she didn't mean for it to be suggestive but didn't mind the sexual undertones.

"stay as long as you like" she smiled. Alex went over and took off her backpack. She held her by the hips once more, and kissed her. "oh my god!"

"what?" Marissa looked puzzled.

"what happened to your face?"

"huh?" Alex grabbed her and steered her into path of the mirror.

"your head! What happened?" there was a small red cut on her forehead, it was bleeding thickly but slowly. Alex dissapeared and came back with a green box. "sit" she commanded. She unwrapped some cotton and dabbed it with a luminous green liquid.

"Will this hurt?" questioned a worried Marissa, with a furrowed brow causing her cut to bleed more.

"no where near as much as the tattoo" she smiled.

"stay still" Alex said, cautiously moving toward her. Marissa stayed so still, if it wasn't for the color in her cheeks she'd have been mistaken for a corpse. "you can breathe you know" smiled Alex with a small laugh.

"ow" Marissa groaned when Alex applied the cleanser to the wound.

"it's ok. Think of something happy and I'll be finished soon I promise" within a few minutes, she was true to her word and finished up nicely. She taped a small dressing to her forhead. "it's nothing spectacular, but you're only going to be seeing me" she smiled "I used to want to be a nurse once".

"I thought of you"

"what?"

"to distract me, to make me happy. I thought of you"


	4. Talk

Alex could do nothing but smile while she packed away her medical supplies.

"Sorry! I didn't even tell you how I cut my head"

"It's ok, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want"

"I want to! I swear, it just slipped my mind." She paused for a while. "I was hiding from my mom, I sneaked out the window, and…" she laughed. "Fell in a tree" she said with a smile. "What are you doing next Saturday?"

"Working, why?"

"I think it's a great time for first dates?" she said looking hopeful.

"I'm working late but…if you don't mind doing anything later it's fine by me"

"Could pose a problem" Marissa raised an eyebrow and continued. "But I'll figure something out"

"I love it when you're suspicious" said Alex returning the raised eyebrow.

"You'll love what I'm being suspicious about even more". She smiled and kissed her again. It became more heated than they expected, but neither minded much. Marissa was now lying on top of Alex, still kissing.

"Stop" said Alex, turning her head, a disappointed Marissa on her chest, rising and falling with her intense breaths.

"I don't want to" she pouted.

"You have to, ok? Trust me."

"Ok" she sighed. "Why?"

"I don't want you to regret anything, and here, on my stupid old couch you might. If there's even a tiny doubt in my mind. It's not happening. At least not until Saturday" an uncomfortable Alex smiled.

"I understand," stated Marissa simply. And kissed her gently.

"Hey I'm really hungry, want some food?" Marissa nodded. Alex ordered out and sat back down.

"I love it when you're not at work" Marissa smiled.

"Me too" she said giving Marissa a playful hug.

"I've never really had company like you"

"Me neither, it's odd"

"But Good?"

"Very" she smiled. "I'm going to go call the bait shop see if I can have next Saturday off," she returned. A miserable expression on her face. She'd been gone a while. "No luck" she said. Incredibly crestfallen.

"It's ok" smiled Marissa weakly.

"It's really not." She paused to breathe. "Maybe we should just wait. I don't want to spend too much time with you"

"You don't?" said Marissa. Hurt.

"It's not like that. Its just things can turn out wrong so quickly if you rush into things."

"Well what do you want to do about it?"

"I tell you what. We don't see each other so much during the week. We can call each other, but for no more than an hour. And if you come round. You're not allowed to sleep. House rules" she said smiling.

"And on weekends?" Marissa said, more than hopeful.

"Your ass is mine, Friday through Monday" she grinned and kissed her.

Alex was true to her word, on Sunday night she kissed Marissa goodbye. She felt slightly down, but she just wasn't accustomed to being alone yet. They called each other regularly. And on Wednesday Marissa went to Summer's house.

She let herself in as always, and went to the bedroom. Summer was just laying listening to music.

"Hey sum" she smiled.

"What's going on?" Summer snapped abruptly.

"What do you mean?"

"You haven't even spoke to me since Friday, you weren't at school! What's going on with you?"

"Nothing really"

"You can talk to me though right?" she said softening a little.

"Sure, if you want to know?"

"Ok" she said, blank.

"Promise not to freak?"

"Ok" she repeated.

"Me and Alex are dating."

"Thank god!" she exclaimed.

"What?" Marissa said, more than confused.

"I thought you'd just found a new best friend and wanted nothing to do with me!"

"You did!"

"Yeah" she said slightly more embarrassed at the situation. "I was scared that you were just going to go be friends with her. Leave me. I don't need that now. I need you."

"Aww Summer" she sat on the bed and hugged her. Summer began to cry.

"What's up?"

"Well I'm so confused!"

"Tell me, I know all about confusion"

"Me and Zach are on a break"

"Why?"

"Take a wild guess" Summer said. Less than amused.

"Cohen?"

"Bingo"

"Where did this come from?"

"I don't know I guess it just never left"

"Do you mind?"

"Not really, I just don't know what to do!"

"What feels right?"

"When I'm with Zach, I feel happy, but I feel nervous, not the Good kind. When I'm with Cohen, I feel happy. I feel calm, I feel excited…I feel more for him. I know I do"

"Does it not freak you out?"

"A little. But it's expected if we were together once"

"Yeah I suppose"

"But what if I leave Zach and Cohen doesn't even want me?"

"Cohen isn't going to pass you up again"

"You think so?"

"I know so"

"Anyway you…" she smiled changing the subject. "What about you and Alex, how did this happen?"

"I don't know…I like her."

"And?"

"Well I just do. Nothing much more too it. There's no point in trying to classify what I am. I like her, I'm with her. Suppose that's it."

"Are you happy? You seem a little distant. Your mom's worried. She hasn't spoke to you since she got back"

"I'm ok. I'm wary of the whole situation. I really don't want to talk to her. I've been sat in my room listening to music for two days. I called you a few times. But I had no luck."

"And school?" There was something innocent about the inquisition that was happening between them. Despite the fact they were asking one and other questions they wouldn't just come straight out with, in the company other people. They had a bond, obvious just from their relaxed conversation.

"School. Hmm"

"You hate it don't you."

"Yeah"

"Rebel" she laughed jokingly.

"I'll come back tomorrow…I need something to fill up my time before Saturday"

"Saturday?"

"First date" she grinned.


	5. Date

Saturday finally rolled around, Alex and Marissa hadn't seen each other all week. Marissa called Alex in the afternoon.

"Hey Alex" she smiled into the receiver

"Hey" Alex wandered to the couch with the cordless and made herself comfortable on the couch.

"First date is still on for tonight. I'll meet you from work at eleven thirty Ok? I'm sorry it's so late"

"It's ok. I don't mind, it's not your fault I had to work"

"Yeah. Well I'm running into L.A later I'll come straight back and meet you at outside the bait shop at eleven thirty"

"Done. Anyway, I better go I have to go to work. See you later"

"Bye" Marissa hung up. She proceeded to the car, in her black trousers and top. She figured she'd have enough time to get ready when she got back. It was already 4pm; she needed to get to L.A.

Marissa spent most of her time in L.A running to Alex's favorite diner and ordered her favorite. She saved it in a box and continued walking around until around, perfecting things, picking things up. Generally just keeping herself occupied. She went back to her car, and turned up the radio. By this time it was raining heavily, she smiled because she just missed it. About a twenty-minute drive from the bait shop. The car stopped abruptly.

"No" Marissa sighed in frustration. She attempted to restart the car, no such luck. She had been so preoccupied with everything she forgot to fill up the car with gas. She set her keys on the passenger seat, and picked up her bag and cell phone. She checked it.

"No service! I don't believe this," she yelled out loud, despite the fact no one was there to hear her. She climbed out of the car with her backpack on and cell phone in hand in search of service. The rain came down hard on her, her scarf was already soaking. She shuffled along to the side of the road and searched for service. She moved around the grass verge and couldn't find any service at all so headed back to the car.

She tried the door. Locked.

"What the fuck!" She yelled. She used her hand to peer through the glass. She saw her keys lying in the center of the seat, somewhat neglected. She kicked the car door out of aggravation. And stood by the road looking rather lost. The rain was soaking through her now, she was freezing cold. Her hair fell in awkward, dark; wet strands at random intervals along her face. Her eyeliner and mascara had created deep black pools under her eyes. Water was in droplets on her skin, and awkward drips fell from the end of her nose. Her black tshirt clung to her saturated with water. He trousers rubbed her awkwardly as she shuffled from foot to foot. Her black canvas shoes icy cold and soaking. She checked her watch. Eleven o clock.

"Fuck it!" she yelled. And started to walk in the direction of Newport. She had a steady pace, but occasionally staggered to the side, because of the heavy wind. She fell at one point. She pounded the tarmac. And staggered to her feet. She kept walking. She couldn't shake the image of Alex's disappointed face out of her head. She focused eventually after about an hour of walking she reached the edge of Newport. Occasionally being blinded by passing cars, she hoped to be rescued, but the only person she cared to be rescued by was about a mile away. She picked up the pace. The view of Newport from the top of the beach filling her with hope. A smile spread across her face as she passed familiar landmarks, and drew minutes away from the bait shop.

She ran towards the door which was just feet away now, and reached out to grab the thick steel door of the bait shop. She shook it fiercely, It didn't open. She kicked it and ran. She ran to the pier and stood right at the end she dropped her bag to the floor. And spread her arms and looked up. She started to cry, a lot.

"Why did this have to happen? Why the fuck did you do this to me! I just needed a chance to prove to someone I care about that I'm not a fuck up" she sat down. Crying still. Tugging at herself out of awkward anger directed towards her self.

"You didn't fuck up" Alex was stood behind her, in the pouring rain, due to the dark and cold it was impossible to tell what kind of mood she was in, Marissa could always read her expression, but not when it wasn't visible to see. Marissa stood and faced her. She sniffed awkwardly. They faced each other, Alex and Marissa both soaked to their skin; eye make up smudged everywhere, stood a few feet away from each other.

Alex stepped forward, as did Marissa. Almost touching now. Marissa looking down at her soaked feet, drops of water falling off her face. Alex held her close, the dye rubbed off Marissa's black tshirt onto her white one, smudging black lines on her, Marissa looked up and they kissed. Water fell on their skin as they stood, alone in the middle of a storm on the edge of the pier. Alex pulled away.

"What happened"?

"My car broke down and I locked my keys in the car"

"So you got the bus?"

"I walked"

"From where?"

"I don't know, it was a few miles. I didn't want to be late, honest" she bent down and picked up her bag.

"Well we could always salvage what's left…I'm a huge fan of spontaneous first dates" Marissa formulated a plan.

"It may well be salvageable" she took her hand and they walked towards the bait shop. "Open it up?"

"What?"

"Open up the bait shop!" she demanded. Alex paused, she gave Marissa an important look, and a lot was understood. She didn't know precisely what Marissa had planned but she knew she would enjoy it. She swung open the heavy steel doors, and closed them behind the pair. She flicked on the lights and smiled. "Sit down." Marissa said in a military way. She kissed her on the head to soften the sergeant-esque order's she'd just dished out. "I'll be back in a few minutes". Alex sat in wonder, as one thousand things rushed through her head at once. The minutes went by slowly as Alex just looked around and stared. Marissa appeared again with a box, and two saggy pieces of paper. She put the paper underneath the box.

"One more minute I promise. Don't peek I need to explain it" she ran off. The Bravery came on over the speakers. Marissa returned and sat opposite Alex at the bar.

"What's this?"

"Our first date" she picked up the box and moved it to the side. She picked up the slips of paper and handed her them.

"What are these?"

"Bravery tickets. I was too late by the time we got here. You can keep them though."

"You got us tickets to The Bravery?" she said in disbelief, it was hard to read if she was being negative or positive.

"Umm yeah? I got us backstage passes, one of summer's exes owed me a favour." she showed it was positive by kissing her softly.

"So what's in the box?" she opened the box, and on It was, a huge hamburger, and a fish salad. Marissa took the fish salad and placed it on her plate. And took the hamburger and placed it on Alex's, dripping water everywhere all the while.

"Wait a minute…this is from Lisa's old diner… tell me you didn't!"

"What?"

"Go to L.A just to get me this"

"Well…I, bought a cd while I was there too"

"Marissa you are perfect" she grinned and kissed her yet again.

"Well I had to be original…I bet so many others have done the same thing."

"Hardly. They take me to a bar get me wasted and take me home. I seriously didn't think you'd put this much thought into this"

"Thanks?"

"Trust me it s a Good thing". They finished eating and sat next to each other just talking, the music was quieter now, and an acoustic song was on. Alex stood up and held Marissa too. She pulled Marissa to her feet and put her arms around her neck.

"Dance" she said quietly. In some kind of hug, they danced shifting their weight from one foot to the other.

"Ow!" exclaimed Marissa.

"What is it?" said Alex looking a little concerned; she suspected she had probably trodden on her toe.

"My pants are hurting me!" Alex laughed

"It's not funny! They're drenched." Alex leaned over and whispered in her ear.

"We'll have to take you home and get them off then".


	6. Uninvited

"Kiss me" Marissa murmured rolling over to look at the clock. When she rolled back Alex clearly heard the order, and launched into a passionate kiss. Marissa's tanned skin contrasted nicely with the brilliant white sheets. This caused Alex to smile.

" I don't want to move," grinned Marissa.

"It's Sunday babe, you don't have too" she pondered the word babe, and did a small inward laugh.

"Yay" she said in a childish voice.

"So what do you want to do today?" There was a definite Sunday vibe around the whole situation, tired eyes, pure relaxation, and a beautiful girl by her side.

"Can I stay here for a long time?"

"If that's what you want"

"Well what did you want to do?"

"Only what we've done already…twice." She smiled. Marissa rolled over and kissed her. She closed her eyes sleepily. "Nuh-uh babe, you are so not falling asleep," she laughed again at herself saying babe, she wasn't sure whether it made her sound sexy, or foolish. She decided she didn't want to risk it again and refrain from using the word babe for a while.

"I don't want to sleep. I don't want to think, I just want to enjoy today"

"Fair enough" she smiled. The rain still battered down hard on the windows, when it rained in Orange County, it poured. It was also insanely cold. Marissa wrapped the covers around her tighter. Alex slowly got out and stood up in front of the window. The light shone from behind her, showing Marissa no more than a silhouette.

"Where are you going?" said Marissa, sitting up partially to look in the general direction of the womanly shape.

"I'm thirsty," she whispered. And walked out of the room.

She meandered into the lounge; she picked up hers and Marissa's clothes. She put on her pants, and bra. And wandered to the sink and poured herself a glass, being careful not to over think, and spill this time.

Reacting to the cold, she went back over to the couch and reached out and picked up Marissa's oversized hooded sweatshirt she always sat in when she was cold. She put it on and smiled, it was warm despite being on the cold apartment floor, and it smelled of Marissa. She didn't have a definite smell, it didn't smell of a perfume she wore, it didn't smell of her washing powder, It smelled of her. It was mild and almost neutral, and her skin smelled the same. It calmed Alex instantly. Filled her with a sense of home, something Alex wasn't all too familiar with on her own. A smile spread across her face, from the smile itself to the twinkle in her eye. She padded around barefoot, sipping her water. She took a step toward the bedroom but stopped herself. Her mind told her not to go there, warned her that something was wrong with the whole situation. A whole deck of scenarios span through her head like a reel of film. What if she had been used? To get back at Julie, maybe even Ryan. What if she didn't like her? What if the sexuality was an issue and she's laying in their hating her for rushing into things? What if she was just another challenge to Marissa, a phase? Her body was telling her to go, go be with Marissa, and lay down in the warm bed, instead of being stood in the freezing lounge in very little clothing. However the "what-ifs" made her weak. She clenched the side of the couch and sat. She merely stared, she started to question herself, whether she was even ready, she wasn't joking when she thought about leaving, and if she did leave, did she leave Marissa there? Whether she was ready for a relationship at all after the undeniable hurt of Jodie. She felt so suffocated and trapped, that wherever her thoughts turned she didn't feel she could be happy. She was too indecisive about anything. However she decided to at least try to sort things out, be a Good friend and girlfriend, and see how things went with her.

She sighed. Wearily resting her head on the arm of the couch she slowly drifted to sleep.

Marissa walked in. presuming the worst, white sheets wrapped around her in a makeshift toga, which, on Marissa, looked far more like an evening gown.

"Alex wake up!" she said wandering past prodding Alex in the head.

"Huh?" she questioned her current location and how cold she was. Marissa went and sat on her knee.

"You're cold," she said concerned, rubbing her hands over Alex's thighs quickly to cause friction. She grinned at her and threw her into a hug.

"What was that for?" Alex said, a little more defensive than needed.

"Umm I wanted to hug you," said Marissa. Looking defeated. She stood up "fine!" she announced and went back in the room. Alex sighed and followed reluctantly.

"Are you ok?" Alex asked. She rolled over. Away from her. "Marissa…just please..." she rolled over to face her.

"What's up with you Alex?"

"I was just waking up…you know I'm a grouch"

"There was no need to sleep on the couch"

"I didn't even realise! I swear!" She climbed in with Marissa and kissed her very gently on the mouth. She didn't want to anger the situation, so approached it with care. Gently stroking her neck, she smiled at her. "Sorry" she said calming Marissa's breath, which was racing from the slight aggravation. They lay there for a while, their breath's slowly synchronising, and calming to an almost sleepy level. Marissa wouldn't permit herself to rest, she was swimming in thoughts. An endless sea of restlessness. She was scared. Terrified that she had fallen in love. Love equalled disaster in the world of Marissa cooper. Love as a rule in Newport, was a bad thing, and could naturally; only end in disaster.

The symptoms were all there, the unwillingness to move once in her arms, the way the world seemed lighter now, the smile that intruded on her face. Whether or not she wished it too was out of the question. That was it. Marissa knew, the uninvited smile had put the final nail in her coffin of doubt; she was in love. After all love was nothing more than a series of involuntary events, love acted regardless of all sense, and other human emotions. It always prevailed over hate and negligence. But it wasn't pretty; love was never the Gaussian blurred utopia, the movies painted it to be. Something Marissa understood clearly. A warm feeling interrupted her bitterly cold thoughts, it was the overwhelming feeling of Alex's eyes boring into her, surveying every inch of visible skin. She knew she couldn't allow herself to fall in love, but she also knew she was weak to it; it was a sore point that she needed to be needed. And thus, stood no chance against this beautiful girl. If love was a death sentence she was sat on death row now, Alex toying her finger over the switch for the chair. Marissa opened her eyes. Sure enough Alex's were meeting hers square in the middle.

"I love you," murmured Marissa.

Alex froze.


	7. Whiskey

"Ok" she said quietly and shut her eyes. Partly to avoid Marissa's declaration, partly because she just wanted to sleep, and lose her self in dreams and unconsciousness. Marissa lay looking hurt. An awkward silence swept across the apartment like a ghost, chilling them both. Alex opened one eye slightly to spy on Marissa. Sure enough, she still lay there, with a glazed expression, her eyes wide open, still. She looked like a broken doll.

"Look, Marissa…I…" she mumbled, searching all of the words she knew for an appropriate explanation to her sudden shock.

"Save it" said Marissa. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know what Alex was thinking, or whatever excuse she was formulating as the two exchanged glances. She wasn't angry, just upset, and she knew this wouldn't change much. However, Marissa thought there was nothing worse than saying "I love you" and not hearing it back.

"Please Marissa, don't be like this"

"Like what?"

"Look Marissa, I don't want you to think all this bad shit about me…I care for you right now more than anyone, and I'm thankful for what you said I really am" Marissa leaped out of bed before Alex had chance to continue.

"Whoa! Wait a minute! You're thankful? Out of all the things in the world you could have felt from those words you're thankful!" she paused. "I don't believe this" she walked over to her bag. And walked out of the room into the lounge. Alex sighed and slowly got up and followed.

"Marissa, at least let me explain"

"What is there to explain…you don't love me"

"Marissa…I…" by this time, Marissa was dressed, somewhat scruffy, but dressed; she pulled on her shoes, and her clothes which were still damp. And uncomfortable.

"You can keep the sweatshirt" she choked at her. And ran out. She attempted to slam the door behind her but Alex caught it. She shouted after her.

"Marissa…that's it! Turn and run it's all you ever do! Go have a childish mood swing just because I'm not in love with you!" she slammed the door on her. Either side of the door the girls felt very different things, but tears were shed with no prejudice.

Marissa had nowhere to go, in the pouring rain; she escaped to Summer's house.

"Hello?" she knocked.

"This better be Good, it's mighty early for a Sunday!" she heard Summer yelling as she shuffled wearily to the door.

"My God Coop! What the hell happened to you?" She exclaimed. Marissa did nothing but cry. Summer grabbed her and led her indoors in a hug

"I told her…I told her," she whispered.

"What, Coop? What did you tell her?" she said in the most calming manor possible. Closing the door with her free arm.

"I said I loved her."

"Oh, and I'm guessing it didn't go so well"

"She said "Ok"…that's all she fucking said"

"I swear to God! Do you want me to hurt her? 'Cause I swear Coop, I'll tear her a new…"

"No. It's ok" she interrupted.

"Do you really love her?"

"Of course I do! I wouldn't have said it other wise"

"I thought…well…you could have been drunk?"

"At ten AM on a Sunday?" she gave Summer a look, complete with raised eyebrows, and let out a small smile in Summer's direction.

"Sorry Coop." Marissa let out a small laugh. And wiped her nose on her sleeve. Marissa explained the entire first date situation to Summer.

"Aww! That's so sweet! As if you did that for her…She's stupid not to love you!" Marissa almost started crying again, but regained herself. "Come on…we'll go pick up your car".

There was silence as they drove. Nothing but music filled the car, neither dare speak over it, it was such a beautiful song. Damien Rice - Blower's Daughter played over the speakers and Marissa struggled hard not to cry.

Alex meanwhile was sat alone, bolt upright in the center of the freezing cold floor. Wearing nothing but Marissa's hooded sweatshirt, and her pants she cried roughly, biting her nails. Alex was notorious for this, for inflicting emotions on others, good or bad, she spread a bad mood like a disease. She would say things, she knew weren't true. Just to worsen the situation sometimes, she had been hurt, and ever since that day pushed people away like they had the plague. She thought she had lost Marissa too now. It wasn't that she didn't love her, she did, she was just so terrified that what Marissa was saying wasn't true, that she had rushed her into things and it was merely a sleepy afterglow reaction. She was also scared that they might have clashing opinions on what love was. Marissa had been in love with, and dumped, two guys before. Where as she, had only loved once. And it hurt. Pushing people away was Alex's last line of defence. What she felt for Marissa was painfully real, she found herself trusting her more than anyone she ever had, even Jodie. It felt more special with a girl anyway, more intimate, and more intense. The feelings were stronger, special, and just exploded in your face. She did love Marissa, but the question was, could she trust herself enough to say it. To say it, mean it and not get hurt. After the pain she was going through at the thought of losing Marissa, she knew she had to…she had to tell her.

Marissa sit in summer's car. The rain still pouring, the music had stopped now, making the sound of the rain much more fierce. Summer had luckily remembered her spare key to Marissa's car she left once.

"You sure you're going to be ok Coop? I do worry about you!"

"I'll be fine"

"Go make it up with her. Go be happy, you deserve it" she smiled.

"I will…thanks for calming me down Sum, I needed it."

"If I'm not here for you at ten AM on a Sunday, who is?" she smiled again and hugged Marissa. "You're amazing, but you have way too much pride sometimes. Go get the girl back, Cosmo-Girl, and don't forget to give her a slap from me, for what she said!"

"I deserved it…I have to go tell her that it shouldn't matter whether she loves me back or not. I fell in love with her…it should be unconditional."

"Yup! Good luck honey" she said kissing Marissa on the cheek. Marissa exited the car and climbed straight into hers, avoiding the rain.

Alex was now drinking whiskey, peeling off the label slowly, and getting more drunk by the second. She wasn't an alcoholic, and she had no problems with drink, except she liked it. She just thought she would get drunk because she could…no other reasons. It made her feel happy for a while at least and she didn't care. By the time she'd almost finished the bottle she stopped diluting it and started drinking it straight from the bottle, she left the house for a walk. She contemplated going to the tree, but the weather was awful. She made her way to the Cooper-Nichol residence.

Marissa was driving to Alex's apartment, the rain made visibility terrible, and she continued to drive until she got there. Running out to the door, she banged on the door violently. No answer. Leaving the car parked outside as a signal to Alex, Marissa started home. When she turned the corner she was shocked to see Alex. Sat on her garden wall, swigging from a bottle of whiskey.

"Alex?" said Marissa in disbelief.

"Marissa!" she yelled. Her speech was clearly slurred and she was clearly very happy to see Marissa. She jumped off the wall and ran towards her sweeping her into a hug.

"Marissa! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean what I said; it's a long story I'm sure you don't want to hear. But I swear. Marissa, I love you!"

"I love you too" she smiled. "Keep it down, my mom's in there". Alex slammed her empty bottle to ground and spread out her arms. And screamed so loud everyone must have heard.

"I love you Marissa cooper!" she elongated the last word. And kissed her so passionately there in the rain, that Marissa almost cried.

"What is going on here?" the unmistakable voice of Julie Cooper-Nichol stopped them like a deer in the headlights.


	8. Caught

"hey hey! It's Julie!" grinned Alex. Marissa knew that this maybe wasn't the best situation for her to introduce Alex as her girl friend. But let out a small giggle at the drunk on the lawn she was in love with.

"Marissa? What's this?" exclaimed Julie.

"We were just leaving Mom" she said. Grabbing Alex's hand and leading her away.

"It was lovely to meet you, Mrs Cooper-Nichol!"

"Whoa! Wait one minute!" Julie's heels clicking down the steps toward them.

"I know you! You're that bait shop girl! Do you care to explain to me what exactly you are doing with my daughter?" Marissa edged in stopping a drunken Alex before she could string two words together.

"Alex was looking for me, and she came here, I'd just come back from Summer's house" Julie looked suspicious, there was a look on her face which didn't believe Marissa at all. Marissa sensed this and continued, "Call her if you don't believe me."

"Both of you…come in. it's freezing out here. Maybe you and your friend can "hang" here today while it rains." Marissa looked reluctant, but Alex nodded in approval.

"ok" she sighed and they both went indoors. Alex looked awestruck, she had never been inside Marissa's house before, she loved it, it was so big and full of grandure. It scared Alex slightly, put her on edge. Simply because she felt she didn't belong. She looked at Marissa and saw acceptance. She smiled and continued to follow Marissa.

"Mom, we're going to my room" Julie hesitated.

"Ok, I'm going to a meeting now, make sure you're here when I come back" and Marissa heard the door slam.

"Caleb!" Marissa yelled. No answer. "Looks like we're alone" she smiled. she draped her arms around Alex and led her into her room, forcing Alex to walk backwards. Giving her tiny kisses as they moved. After entering the bedroom in the same position Marissa slammed the door, and pushed Alex up against it.

"Marissa" she moaned. "Stop". Marissa did. She looked puzzled. "Sorry honey but I'm far too drunk to know what I'm doing". She kissed her again.

"It's ok." Marissa laughed.

"Hey Marissa" Alex said through kissing.

"Yeah?" she said.

"We're in love!" she laughed.

Marissa stopped from pinning Alex against the door, and led her to the bed. Marissa layed down, and Alex layed next to her and put her head on her chest.

"Do you not think it's odd considering it's so soon?" she said as she played with Alex's hair.

"No, considering how gorgeous you are, and how you make me feel from when we weren't even dating…I'd say it's about time."

"How can you tell it's not just an infatuation?"

"You can't with love…it's tricky. You just have to trust me."

"I do…it just feels too perfect" Alex smiled and sat up and kissed Marissa passionately biting down on her bottom lip. They continued that way for hours. Laying and smiling, inbetween bouts of major kissage.

"Marissa!" yelled out Julie.

"Shit" Alex quickly put her top back on, but sadly, not in time.

"What the hell!" yelled Julie, walking in on the two. Marissa bit down hard on her own lip, a tiny trickle of blood emerged.

"Mom, Alex is my girlfriend" Alex was still facing Marissa and glared angrily at her.

"Oh I see…she's your new way to get back at me. I thought I saw you kissing before. Now I know"

"No, mom. I love her"

"Sure you do Marissa, why would you love this wino" Alex clenched her fists and sighed deeply.

"I am no alcoholic"

"Stay out of this, this has nothing to do with you"

"It has everything to do with her mom!"

"How exactly?"

"Because I love her!"

"Oh please." Julie sniggered.

"Don't fucking patronise me!" Marissa yelled standing up.

"Alex. Leave." yelled Julie.

"I'm staying to take care of her."

"if she's such a big girl she can look after herself" Alex shrugged and looked at Marissa, Marissa closed her eyes, sighed and nodded. Alex turned to leave. Stood in the doorway she mouthed "I love you" at her. And duely stuck two fingers up at Julie's back before walking out.

"take note of that Marissa, it's the last time you'll see her for a while"

"You can't stop me!" she yelled.

"I think I can. I am your mother"

"I wish you weren't"

"But I am. And you need discipline. I'll leave you to think about that one" and julie walked out. Marissa put her music on loud and lay sleepy, and cried herself to sleep, after all she got little sleep the night before.

Alex couldn't rest. She paced her apartment, she tried to sleep before, but nothing. She walked around, wondering why Marissa hadn't called or picked up when she did. She put on a green parka and pulled up the hood, her face wasn't visible. She lowered her head and picked up her keys and went for a walk. She was glad she wore boots and not her usual canvas shoes, which would have been soaked by now. She pulled her parka over and sat on a bench. She must have been there a while by now, and went to a diner for a coffee. She sat and sighed, she felt clearly miserable. She hated how julie treated Marissa, but was thankful in a way because if she had been nice to Marissa, Marissa wouldn't have spent half as much time with her. What Marissa needed was a knight in shining armour. Clutching herself she decided that was her, and went back to the house. Stood outside Marissa's house she threw pebbles at her window. Julie came to the window.

"What do you want?" Julie said impatiently.

"Is Marissa there?"

"have you never heard of a doorbell…and no she's not. She left a note saying she'd gone to your place"

"I don't believe you…Marissa!" she yelled. "Marissa!" she kept yelling. Julie's head dissapeared from the window and appeared at the door.

"Come in" Alex obeyed

"Where is she?" Alex demanded

"I don't know, she said she was going to your house"

"She's not there as far as I know." There was a prominent pause, as Julie filled two glasses with juice and passed one to Alex.

"Don't hurt her"

"What?"

"Don't you dare!"

"I don't know why you think I would"

"Because I know your type…you'll just up and leave when you feel like it. You don't have enough responsibilty"

"I'm responsible for Marissa now"

"So I see"

"Why are you like this with her?"

"I won't lie to you, I'd much prefer she was with Ryan and not you. I think you're bad news, but my daughter clearly likes you. And I can't stop her. But she seems to be shirking her responsibilty to be with you"

"If this is about school…I keep telling her to go"

"Not just that, caleb's parties, and dinners. She's never there, our friends have complained. You could even come if that would tempt her there. I feel like I'm losing my daughter"

"And it's your own fault."

"I don't want to! Being away I realised that I had messed up with Marissa, I want it to be right again."

"I don't know how sincere you are Julie, and I don't know if I can trust you, purely on the fact you don't like me, and I'm dating your daughter. But if you want to win Marissa back, I won't say anything to Marissa, or try and stop you. But you have a task on your hands"

"I understand this, and I hope you understand I don't want her seeing you. But I can turn a blind eye if you can." She winked at her.

"I'm not some alcoholic punk you know. I have feelings and I love your daughter." She said, standing up for herself.

"I don't want to know about you and my daughters gay lives."

"You're daughter isn't gay!"

"And you?"

"I'm not so sure. Marissa is just curious, and she fell in love over it, she won't be this way forever. It's not just a phase either. If you like someone, you like someone, personality prevails over sexuality everyday. There is no straight or gay, only narrowmindedness"

"I understand, I've been there myself." Julie winked. "Go find her then, make sure she's home tonight for school Ok?" Alex nodded and pulled her hood back up. She wandered towards her house she noticed a massive plume of black smoke. And smelled burning. She thought nothing of it until she turned the corner and realised it was her apartment. Flames lapped allover the apartment, her heart pounded. Then it almost stopped when she realised.

Marissa.

She ran towards the door and kicked it down. She found Marissa's heart shaped necklace poking out from beneath a fire. She kicked off the debris of the fire and reached to pick it up. It scalded her. The shape of a perfect heart in the palm of her hand.


End file.
